I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
