i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
