Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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