i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
being pregnant is like rehab
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
