I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
