we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
