Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
