I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
