Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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