im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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