So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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