i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
