the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We are two peas in an std pod
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
