I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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