I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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