Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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