My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize