Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
