i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I will be naked everywhere
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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