sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
