moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have aggressive nipples.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
