2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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