Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
