dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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