GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
