so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
