He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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