I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
