You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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