What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
