I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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