She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize