I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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