im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
