I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
