my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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