one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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