just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
