he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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