I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
