Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
false alarm, still single
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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