Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
