I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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