his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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