I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
