Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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