At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
