how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
