So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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