Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
