So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
