he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
