the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Drunk is not a location!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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