You're my little dorito
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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