life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
