just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize