I want to have your abortion
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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