you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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