My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
