the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
