he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
