recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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