If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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