I want to stick my p in your. b.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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