I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
