TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
