Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Randomize
